Miscellanea and Ephemeron
08/31/2004 Archived Entry: "Review: Captain's Blood"
Reviewed by Laurel Sutton
The things I do for you people. Are you familiar with the word "slog"? Here’s a definition: “To make one’s way with a slow heavy pace against resistance; to work diligently for long hours; a long exhausting march or hike.” Me. Shatner. Slog.
It's not even that the book is badly written, because it's not; it's not even the laundry list of characters who populate every scene (Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Scotty, Picard, Riker, Troi, Crusher, LaForge, Worf, Janeway, EMH – and those are just the canon characters). No, it's the plottiness of the plot that I cannot fathom. Something to do with Remans, who are like the hillbilly cousins of the Romulans or something; I didn't see the last theatrical movie, so I don't really get this. They want to kidnap Kirk's weird-ass son and make him King of the Romulan Hillbillies. Then there's stuff about a civil war, and this alien shapeshifter shows up and turns things into dust. Oh, and this is the second book of a trilogy (Captain's Peril was the first), so you don't get to find out what happens at the end.
Spock "dies" four times in this book. Once he gets blowed up good, real good, then strangled, then suffocated, then dissolved. As someone once said about Kirk, he don't never die and stay dead. I'm guessing he's going to turn up in Book Three, because even Shatner doesn't get permission from Paramount to kill primary characters – not while there's some long green to be made from them.
As in the previous book, there are some particularly nice Kirk moments, which I attribute to Shatner; his voice is pretty clear as Kirk, and it's a refreshing change from the TNG characters, who all talk the same. McCoy is well-written too, and I wonder if Shatner is responsible for that, as well. One wonders exactly how much input he has into these books. As he himself has said, "Sometimes I go over to Gar and Judy's house and watch them type."
I'm also annoyed at the ShapeShifter Lady, who has some magic power that makes men see her as the woman they desire most, and then they forget everything and trail around after her with their tongues hanging out. This Super Sex power affects Vulcans and Romulans, too. What's up with that? And isn't it convenient that there are no women or gay men facing off against her? Interestingly, when she finally does use her mind tricks on a woman, a Vulcan, she appears as the Vulcan's mother. You may draw your own conclusions about that. I don't want to think about it.
The Wapshott Press
Ontology on the go!
"Ontology on the Go!"
J LHLS mugs
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