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Ontology on the gone!

The Journal of the Lincoln Heights Literary Society
Miscellanea and Ephemeron

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04/28/2007 Archived Entry: "Short story review: Dark Submission"

Dark Submission
By Shayne Carmichael
Published by Torquere Press

Review by Lynn Loper

I don't know. Maybe I'm too old to see vampires as sexy. I grew up with Bela Lugosi and Barnabas Collins, and I don't see them as sexual creatures. To me, sexy requires clear diction (strike Bela), and a certain amount of grace (strike Barnabas, stumbling over the scenery). I think they've gotten better nowadays, but they're too young for me now. It isn't fair.

And I certainly don't find much attractive about a group of vampires into BDSM. One or the other would be more than enough to handle.

Well, one of the BDSV (for Vampires) Ms hires a secretary, and the secretary keeps creeping around peeping through doors that are fortuitously slightly ajar, seeing various scenes. We never get to find out what his personality was like before he entered the BDSVM's employ. After, well, I found him more embarrassing and annoying than a dog in heat. He enters with spirit into his master's games, and pretty soon the master is giving him the "By the way, I'm going to live forever; wanna join me?" line, and what's the doggie gonna say?

The sex isn't inspired. We go through the standard elements in the standard order. The secretary seems to have read the script before; he uses the right phrases at the right time with no confusion or apprehension. It adds no excitement to the story, and this story could use some.

These are good concepts, but the story reads as if it was written by an unmanned word processor.

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