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The Journal of the Lincoln Heights Literary Society
Miscellanea and Ephemeron

J LHLS Archives: October 2005

Saturday, October 8, 2005

The Next Mrs. Blackthorne
By Joan Johnson
Published by Pocket Books

Review by Lynn Loper

Things I learned from reading The Next Mrs. Blackthorne:

Difficulties between families can always be resolved by females from family A offering themselves for sexual uses to the males from family B.
No one in Texas has a normal name. They're all named Rockhorn Blackthorne, or Chance, or Breed: big names, names with meaning and resonance, names authors use when their books have no meaning or resonance. If your name is Mary Ellen, Mike or Ralph, you can't live in Texas.
Women's sexual arousal is always heralded by their nipples becoming prominent. This author has a thing for nipples. Also sexy underwear. The pure virgin who is the main character in the first half of the book wears a half-cup bra from Victoria's Secret under her snazzy, but pure, clothes. Right.
Women belong to men. "Would North want an accomplished lover? Someone who could give him pleasure? Or would he find satisfaction in knowing he'd stolen her virginity from Clay Blackthorne?" What about stealing Clay's virginity?
When you run out of other adjectives, use 'incredibly'. You'll save time, and the reader will get some fun out of phrases like 'incredibly long bed' (Six feet? Sixty?) and 'incredibly provocative underwear' (What do people do when they see it? Froth at the mouth? Lose their minds?).
Everyone manipulates everyone else. When people make suggestions to you, they're trying to get you to fulfill their fell designs. Nobody just wants you to pick up a Quarter Pounder for them when they're at McDonald's -- it's all part of their plan to dominate the world.
The climax (forgive me) of all human relationships is sexual.
You can publish a novel in this country even if some of the sentences in it read like they were lifted directly from the weekly soap opera roundup: four or five names, all verbs. "She'd introduced Jocelyn to her brother North in hopes that North would distract Jocelyn from Clay." [more]

Posted by Lynn Loper @ 07:46 PM PST [Link]

Tuesday, October 4, 2005

The New York City Cab Driver's Book of Dirty Jokes
by Jim Pietsch
published by Warner Books, 2005

Review by Ida Vega-Landow

First of all, I'm a native New Yorker, so you know dirty jokes don't offend me. Secondly, I miss the old days when New York City cabs were driven mostly by local boys from Brooklyn, who smoked cigars and talked like Archie Bunker, and who liked talking to their passengers and telling them jokes, the same way the author of this little tome did. Jim Peitsch is a former NYC cab driver who's already written two previous collections of jokes he's heard and told during his career (The New York City Cab Driver's Joke Book, Volumes 1 and 2). I'm just sorry I missed them, because I enjoyed this book so much. Even though I have heard many of them already, thanks to my favorite radio station, WAXQ-FM, where the morning DJ, Jim Kerr, has a sidekick named Shelli Sonstein who loves dirty jokes so much, she has a Monday morning feature called The Dirty Joke of The Week, in which she tells dirty jokes that were submitted to her via e-mail by the morning show's listeners. (I've submitted three jokes to her myself, but I've yet to hear any of them on the air.) [more]

Posted by Ida Vega Landow @ 04:16 PM PST [Link]

Le Portrait de Petite Cossette
Distributed by Geneon Animation

Reviewed by Kathryn Ramage

Cossette is, or was, a young French girl who lived in the 18th century and was painted by an Italian artist named Marcello. They fell in love, but when Cossette began to grow up and change, Marcello felt that his paintings were the true representation of her beauty, the true Cossette, and not she. The relationship ended badly.

And, after her death, Cossette's soul became somehow imprisoned in a piece of Venetian glassware, until someone who loves her enough to die for her can free her. [more]

Posted by Kathryn L Ramage @ 01:45 PM PST [Link]

DearS Vol. 1, 1st Contact
Distributed by Geneon

Review by Tom Good

A shy, geeky schoolboy meets a beautiful girl who turns out to be an alien from another world. The alien girl is obsessed with food, but kind and eager to please. A human girl criticizes the boy for taking advantage of the alien girl. So far, this could be Girls Bravo, and in many ways the two shows are similar. But DearS succeeds in areas where Girls Bravo stumbles.

Here the boy is Takeya, and the role of the scold is played by Neneko, the daughter of Takeya's landlord. Unlike the violent Kirie in Girls Bravo, Neneko does not physically attack the male lead. She does nag him in a weary tone of voice sometimes, but she also comes across as smart, worldly, and wryly funny. A bit of a geek herself, she seems like she could be a good match for Takeya, and she often uses her intellect to help him out. Neneko is a much more likeable character than Kirie. [more]

Posted by Tom Good @ 09:48 AM PST [Link]

Sunday, October 2, 2005

Nancy Lilly -- with a little help from artists and models who also knew him -- remembers Burne Hogarth. This recollection was requested by J LHLS for the Hogarth section of Comics Journal Library, vol. 5, published by Fantagraphics.

Burne Hogarth at Art Center in Pasadena, California
By Nancy Lilly

Yes, he was egocentric, but -- damn, he was good!

Burne Hogarth comes through loud and clear and with predictable bombast in Gary Groth's incisive interview with him in "Classic Comics Illustrators", Volume V in the Comics Journal Library.

He also came through loud and clear, etc. when teaching students at Art Center College of Design during the 1980's and 90's, which is where and when I knew Hogarth and can therefore vouch for the validity of Mr. Groth's interview. But what I truly appreciated, in reading the interview, was the opportunity to hear Hogarth explain, discuss, elucidate, clarify, (pontificate about?) so much of his background and so many more of his points of view than I had heard at Art Center. [more]

Posted by Nancy Lilly @ 08:33 PM PST [Link]

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